So last week I went for my first checkup since radiation has been over. I had to wait three months to verify whether the cancer was gone or not because radiation the radiation had to be out of my body; apparently it makes the MRI look “foggy.” My first appointment was at 11 and my last at like 315, so needless to say, I was stressed big time until the last appointment. Actually, I’d been stressed about it not being gone since I finished radiation.
Thanks be to Jesus that my radio-oncologist reported that my MRI showed no sign of disease! Cancer free, babes!! My mom was sooo happy that she started to cry, so of course I then started to cry. It was an amazing day. After all the time I had spent worrying about that appointment and all the other stressors in my life, I heard what I wanted to hear. It’s still indescribable.
Tonight I went to my brain tumor support group, and they’re always so… On and off for me. They’re amazing because I love the people, and even though i have an amazing support system, there is nothing like bonding with people who share the same experience because they understand in a different way. But the groups are sad because of course cancer also comes with death sometimes. There is a man in our group who is really awesome and is sadly not going to make it. It hurt to see his wife, who is also awesome, crying and I hate that they have to go through that.
Being a cancer survivor requires so much faith, because brain tumors generally grow back. My faith has never been challenged so much in my life. When I see things like I see tonight, I worry that my husband and my family might have to go through that one day with me… And quite frankly, I can’t think of anything worse than seeing them hurt. But I know that God is capable of anything, because I lived with cancer for 13 years, so I’ll just keep trusting. I’ve been so blessed.